"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD."
(ESV Psalm 27:13-14)
(ESV Psalm 27:13-14)
Do you ever struggle with impatience? This could be as simple as feeling frustrated that the line you're in doesn't seem to be moving. It could be as complicated as feeling like your whole world has crumbled around you, and you're impatiently waiting for God to put it all back together. In my mind, my life has this (potential) neat order to it where I get up at the same time each morning, complete my to-do list with no hiccups, maintain perfect relationships, and go to bed at the same time so I can get a good night's sleep. Sprinkled in there are days of rest and adventures. Life hasn't played out that way.
I have a wonderful life, and God has fulfilled so many of my dreams over the years. How I wish I spent more time focusing on all of that and less time waiting for things to happen. The problem with Type A personalities is that having a sense of urgency can, if you let it, trickle into every area of your life and make it difficult to enjoy the day-to-day. While I wouldn't consider myself competitive, I do see other aspects of this personality type in myself. The problem? I try to do everything right now, exhaust myself, and feel I've failed when I don't get everything done. I've been struggling to pause, spend time with God, delve into the Word, and listen for His voice.
While my life is beautiful and filled with family, friends, and purpose, I'm a human like the rest of you, a human who sometimes doesn't know how to process everything going on. People I love die. No matter what I believe or how long I've known death is a part of this world, it doesn't make sense, it feels it shouldn't have happened, and I'm impatient for the grief to feel manageable. Sometimes jobs don't work out, and what I thought or hoped could be long-term, God said was short-term. I'm impatient for God to help me figure out what's next. He has never let me down in the past, but what if He forgot about one of my needs this time?
I can't control the world around me; I can't even control my own life. What I can do, though, is be in the here and now, be in "the land of the living." I can choose to wait for things to happen and enjoy all the beautiful things about my life in the meantime. There will always be problems to face in the morning. There will always be chores to tackle. Although it's difficult not to feel "the grass is greener on the other side," this is the side we're all on now. If I can't be in the present, I'm going to wake up one day and realize my children are grown and gone, that I didn't try to enjoy every moment, and I'll have made an idol out of impatience.
Today, I choose to surrender control, knowing I never had control. God works in ways I don't always understand, and the only reasonable choice I have right now is to wait for the Lord.
Prayer Challenge:
Identify an area of your life you need to surrender to God. Spend time in the Word and in prayer. Ask God to give you patience to "wait for Him" and be able to enjoy life while you wait.
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